I've been in a strange mood all weekend long.
My weekend has been really nice, but I've just been in an odd mood.
Yesterday I looked at a bunch of old xangas. I looked at mine and I looked at xangas of some of my old friends from junior high.
I don't know. It's just really weird to finally be moving on from school... I'll be an adult soon and I'll be going to college in a few months.
It's so strange. These sorts of things have always been just in the back of my mind. They've always been "someday."
It's overwhelming.
I'm almost clinging to my last few weeks of high school. I worry that I haven't done enough. I worry that I'm not ready to move on.
Right now I really hope that when I look back on high school in the future that I won't be disappointed. I really hope that I won't have too many regrets.
I feel like I have done enough, though.
I've been very actively involved in a few extracurriculars that mean a lot to me, I've gone to regular school functions, I've taken a lot of varied classes, and I've gotten to know a lot of people of various classes.
Really, the only thing I never did was go to prom. I don't think that I'll regret that, honestly. Prom just isn't something that I'm interested in. I don't like to get dressed up and I don't like to dance. I'm really okay with my decision to not attend.
It's just weird to start to miss something you don't even like.
I don't really like high school, but I know I'll miss it. I'll miss certain things about it, anyway.
I'll miss seeing nearly all of my friends in one place, I'll miss the funny people in classes, I'll miss Mr. Volk and Mr. Tessmann, I will miss North's pep band, I'll miss JCL, etc.
I will not miss the monotony, the stupid people, the boring classes, having a full day every day, and so on.
I do know that my life isn't going to suddenly become amazing once I enter college, but I'm just really excited to have a sort of...fresh start. I need a change of pace. I'm excited....scared but excited.
Graduation is less than a month away.
It'll be weird to finally be IN the ceremony and not in the band... Wow.
I know I'm going to cry. I am positive of that.
I almost cried at last year's graduation and I wasn't even that connected to anyone in that class.
I haven't done anything for a graduation party yet... I don't know. I don't really even want one. I know my parents want me to have one, but I'm not all that interested in having one. I feel like it's kind of pointless. We'll see. I have to figure this out soon, though.
I guess that's all I have to write about.
I'm just in a really strange mood...
2 comments:
Brie. We're going to Clay Your Way. And soon.
In addition, we must continue to plan our excursion to Mt. Rushmore with JB.
Brie, I may not have spoken to you in a long time, but I was friends with you when all this began. I didn't know what to do then, and I'm sorry for that. But now, even though we aren't close at all, I see these posts, I see your cuts. I know you know what you have to do. So, maybe I haven't spoken to you, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about you. I know you're hearing it from other people. I know you're hearing it from yourself. I've just been watching it all happen for way too long without ever saying anything. So I know I said it curtly, I'm sorry for that too. But I said it because I really do want you to get better.
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