Not Much

So...I'm still sick. XD
This is so annoying.

Tonight was the JCL movie night.
That was okay.
I hung out with Jared and Nora afterward.
That was nice. =]

I've had a lot of epiphanies about things, people, and life lately.
I feel like I've said that before.

It seems like I haven't seen my 'main group' of friends much at all lately... but maybe that's just because I've been sick? I don't know, but I'm afraid of this turning into a repeat of last year with me not getting invited to anything...but I'll stop talking about that now because I don't want to elaborate any more because I'm most likely just being paranoid and I don't want to piss anyone off.

I can't believe that the weekend's almost over.
Next weekend is the SAT.
I'm so nervous.
I really need to study Sunday-Friday.

I hate how tired of school I already am.
I'm so ready for it to be over.
I don't even really care that much about making the best of this year anymore since I'm just so damn ready for it to be over.
I'm so pumped for college.
I have a really good feeling about it.
Even if I don't get into my top choice east coast school, I'm sure I'll get into at least one decent one.
I'm so ready. =]

Sometimes I look at my friends and try to figure out how I even am friends with them since I'm so bad at making friends.
My social skills are really pathetic sometimes, but I don't really care anymore. They're good enough to the point where I can function well in most social settings, but I'm just... really bad at making conversation for the most point, and I'd kind of like to improve that, but then again, I don't really care that much.

I wonder if I'll actually make any friends in college.
I'd like to think that I'll be able to befriend at least one person, but I don't know... I've pretty much always had help with making friends in the past, so I don't really know how it'll go next year.

Oh well.

All I know right now is that I'm seriously tired of being sick. My throat hurts like a bitch, even though I've been taking my meds exactly as I'm supposed to.

STILL Sick!!!!!!

I've been sick for like... 2 1/2 weeks now. Jeez, that's just a bit EXCESSIVE, don't ya think?

My mom made me go to the doctor today.
They thought I had mono or strep at first, so they took some blood and did a throat culture.
Negative on both; however, they figured out that I had a bad tonsil infection....so now I'm on some nasty pills that make me feel like puking at any given notice, so watch out. ;)

I'm already stressing about all of the make-up work I'm sure I have.
Bleghhh.
I hate making up tests and labs, and I'm pretty sure I have a few of those to make up...

For the past two days, I've really just been unproductive... I've watched a lot of The Sopranos and Hey Arnold. XD It's been nice, though! I miss Hey Arnold.

I got the best piece of mail today. Today I got a big white envelope from the University of Pennsylvania with a big pamphlet on it. I felt special even though I'm really not... x] I'm sure they just sent it out because I'm a high school senior, but WHATEVER. It was so nice because that's my dream school. It has been for a while. I'll never get in, but I can dream. ;)

Well, I ought to go to bed now...
I have to wake up at 6:30 for orchestra.
Can you sense the excitement?
:|

OH MY LORD

I NEED to calm down and stop being so obsessed with the East Coast. It's becoming painfully ridiculous. XD

My weekend was pretty good. Friday's partaaaay was fun even though we could've/should've done more. Saturday was fun too. Sunday was pretty chill.

I joined first period (only on Mondays and Thursdays) orchestra. It's kind of cool. :) I hate waking up at 6:30 though... Anything earlier than 7:00 is just appalling.

I think I should try to stop worrying/anticipating the future so much. I should just enjoy this year while it's here.

Hmm...today in AP Psych, Fisher was talking about this study he read about that people who were surrounded by lots of books as children often do better in college, so I now have a little hope for myself even though I'm really lazy right now, haha.

I don't really have much else to write about... I just felt like blogging.

=)

Average Week

So far it's been a pretty average week.

I stayed home from school on Monday and just watched The Sopranos and slept.
It was nice.
I was really sick, though... My allergies were REALLY bad and I had a cold.

I still feel pretty crappy, but today and yesterday were okay overall.
School's not so bad, really... I just hate starting the day.

In some ways, I'm really really ready to be done with high school. I'm dying to move out to the East Coast. I'm pretty sure my parents are planning on moving back after I graduate. I used to be sad about that because I wanted to stay in Fargo, but now I'm so ready to join them...though they want to move to South Jersey (where my dad is from), and I'd rather move to Philadelphia... but whatever. South Jersey (for the most part) and Philly are like... Fargo and Moorhead, almost. I'm also kind of looking forward to college. I think it'll be a great experience... I just REALLY have NO idea where I want to go. :/

However, in other ways I'm clinging on to high school as tightly as I can.. It's stressful at times, but really, it's not that bad.... I mean, you're still under your parents' roof and all and they're the ones providing for you, so you really don't have to do that much. Also, I like my friend and it'll be really sad to leave them or see them leave (depending on whether I stay in Fargo for college or not). I'd like to think I'll be able to keep in touch with people, but who knows what'll happen...

I feel really old being a senior at school, but I guess if you look at a lifetime, I'm still quite young.

Lately I've just been so paranoid about things. I get these crazy, unnatural fears of like... dropping dead the next day out of nowhere because anything can happen. Obviously if I'm dead I can't have any regrets, but I'm afraid that I won't get to do what I want to do before I die, so I'm trying to make the most of everything these days.

I really ought to get another job. I really don't want one, but I miss the income. I'm always afraid to spend money now even though I have quite a lot saved up... I just need a steady income. However, I need a really flexible weekend job or something because I want to actually be able to do shit this year... It's my last year of high school and I want to do as much with JCL, pep band, Socratic, friends, family, and so on. I don't want to waste all my time working at a job I don't even realllllllly need.

I'm taking the SAT next month. I'm a bit nervous about that. I have to start preparing for that... Oh, and I'm retaking the ACT next month as well. I got a 26, which isn't too bad, but I was hoping for at least a 30, so I hope I can achieve that this time around.

College applications truly scare the living daylights out of me. Actually, I guess they don't even really scare me all that much... Just the thought of college applications gets me really stressed out. I hope I can do well with college apps.

I hope I can stop being so lazy, unproductive, uninspired, and unmotivated. I waste so much time. I'm tired of having so many regrets. I need to just...do more.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend.
Friday should be quite a blast to say the least. ;) Pep band and a partaaaaay at the Leins'. ;)

I really truly sincerely hope that the last two days of the week go by quickly!

Relaxing Weekend? Check

Well, let's just say I did have a relaxing weekend with Nora and Casey last night. ;)

Today I really ought to do some homework or something, though...because I wasn't productive yesterday.

Hmm, this week will be the first full week of school of the year... Can't say that I'm looking forward to that. x]

The weather has been cooling off lately, and I'm really enjoying that. Fall is approaching! :D

Despite it all, I'd have to say that life is good. I don't know, I'm just going to see how everything plays out before making any big decisions or anything...but right now I'm just feeling really chill and optimistic. Things are going to be fine.

I feel like watching some Star Trek now.

Bad Week

I'm not really going to get into it since it's really not worth it, but damn, this week was really bad for a few major reasons..

I am really angry and I think that I have the right to be.
Who knows when I'll be cooled off?
It could take a few more days, or it could take a week.
It's not really something I can predict.
I haven't let it hinder my life, though.

I went to pep band last night and tonight, and that was really fun.
Now that I'm unemployed, I'll finally be able to go to more pep band, so that makes me happy. I love pep band. :) It's a lot of fun... and I just love music. I'm going to buy a new instrument soon. I'm debating between a few...I'm leaning toward a trumpet though. I want to play the trumpet. =)

I hate saying it, but I'm kind of ready for the homework to start piling up now... I don't want to slide by without any/much for too much longer, or else I'll get way too used to it and I won't be able to do my homework once I finally get some.

I still need to study my Latin and practice my flute....oh, and work on the JCL sites. XD
I was so not productive last weekend.

I'm happy that it's the weekend.
I'm getting sick again and I'm really exhausted, so it'll be nice to have a little break.
Hopefully I'll get something done this weekend...but it'll be okay if I don't, I guess...as long as I relax a bit.
I need to learn to relax.
I'm always so uptight, anxious, stressed, nervous, etc.

Right now I'm just ready to graduate.
I want to be done.
I want to move out of Fargo to where I belong---the East Coast, baby. ;)
I miss it so much already. :/

Hmm, I guess I don't have much else to say.
I just felt like blogging a bit.