I guess I don't have much to say anyway, so it's fine.
School starts up again in just under a week. In some ways I'm ready and rarin' to go, but in other ways I want more time off.
I am about 95% sure that I will be dropping Computer Science as my major. It was my original major and sometime this year I added Psychology. I'm pretty sure that I will just be majoring in Psychology now. Perhaps my minor will be Computer Science or Biology or something along those lines, but I just don't know if I can do the CS major. I want to, but I'm starting to realize that I mostly fell in love with the idea of being a CS major as opposed to actually doing the work that it entails. You know, I really could do it. I could do it easily...but the catch is that I just don't work hard enough. I'm not motivated enough. Math and all of that does not come naturally for me, but if I put forth enough effort, I can definitely do it. As much as I put myself down, I know that I'm not stupid. I know that I'm capable of doing high-level math, logic, computer science, etc., but I'm just so...lazy and unmotivated and nihilistic. I have ambitions but not enough motivation to back them up.
I must say that it really makes me sad to drop CS. When I fill out the form to change my major officially, it'll feel really awful. I know that changing your major is really really ridiculously common. I know that there are a lot of people who change their major several times while they're in college. Nearly everyone at the very least questions their major. I know that this is a very common occurrence and that it's highly normal and all of that, but I still feel really shitty about it. I feel like I've invested a lot into CS already, and throwing all of that away feels bad. In the end, after a TON of reflection (and I mean a TON), I just have concluded that it probably is not for me.
Life is getting pretty real, and I have to say that I'm not quite ready for it.
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