"The College Experience"

Lately I've just been feeling really weird...

I feel like maybe I'm missing out on some things, but then again I'm not interested in any of the things that I'm possibly missing out on.
A lot of what's supposedly the "college experience" does not appeal to me, but I wonder if I should try harder to do some of the things that are expected or routine.

I really really wanted to live off-campus, and I still do so I'm happy with my decision, but sometimes I wonder if I should've lived on-campus. Maybe I'd know more people by now, but maybe not. I really would not enjoy living on-campus for a lot of reasons/personal preferences, so ultimately I'm happy with my decision, but I don't know.

I've joined a couple of clubs, but I don't know how active I'll be in them. Going to meetings alone makes me really nervous.

I'm just really unsure right now. College has turned me into kind of a lonely person. I don't really feel lonely, but I probably seem lonely...if that makes sense.

Making friends was not and is not at the top of my list of priorities regarding college. I didn't apply and pay for it so I could sit around and socialize.
I just wonder if I'll ever make any friends.
Maybe it'll get better soon...after it doesn't feel like the beginning of a new year.

It was a sad day when I had the really profound epiphany that college is still school.

I just need to get into a better frame of mind.

On a happier note, my classes are going well. I'm keeping up and doing well. I just need to put forth a little more effort in math and I should be good.

I just feel weird and stressed...about a lot of things. School is only one thing that's contributing to my stress and weird feelings.
I should probably just get over some of it, but other things are out of my control. I guess I should just suck it up.
I'm just really devoid of all energy, and all of this stuff with my dad is just neverending and I'm so sick of dealing with it. I just want him to come home and be healthy and normal, but to be honest and realistic, he probably won't ever be, and it's depressing to have a dad who's practically an invalid. It's depressing for him too, don't get me wrong. This isn't all about me.

Lately I have just had too much stress and not enough sleep.
I need to find a better way to deal with things.
I also need to quit complaining, so I'll end this blog here.