In like three weeks I'll be 19. It's creeping me out. I know that 19 isn't actually 'old' in the grand scheme of things, but it feels old to me. I guess I say something similar with each birthday...
All weekend I have to go to a family reunion/4th of July get together. I'm really not excited. We're leaving in like 7 hours, actually. I hate sitting around with family. I'm not trying to sound all typical angsty teen, but I just...really have nothing to say to anyone. On my mom's side there's really no one in my peer group. I refuse to hang around the babies, but I don't exactly have anything to say to the adults either. It's hard to come up with anything to say when everyone around you is at a completely different point in life...and I suck at making conversation. I anticipate a lot of sitting around on couches, smiling, and waiting for people to ask me about school and comment on how tall I've gotten since the last time they saw me. I guess that's not so bad.
The other night my mom decided to corner me and blow up at me. She lectured me and picked apart all of my flaws for like 2 hours. I still feel really shitty. I'd like to think that I'm pretty aware of most of my flaws, but still...hearing about how pathetic I am the whole night is not exactly my idea of a good time. Maybe I am pathetic. The more I think about it, the more I think it might be true.
I'm pretty excited for Nationals. It feels weird that this will be my fifth convention! I really do sort of miss JCL, though. I can't help but find SCL a little boring...
OMG I'm going to go to bed. I didn't sleep at all last night so I've been awake for ENTIRELY too long now!
