AHHHHH, I'll be leaving to go to the airport in less than an hour!
I'm so pumped for Nationals!
I'm exhausted, though. I stayed up all night.
This is so exciting. I can't believe that it's finally time f0 NATZ.
I'm not really in the mood to deal with security.
It's not that bad, I guess...but it's tedious and annoying.
I just know that I'll run into some sort of lame issue like I did the last time I flew.
I'm just carrying my laptop on and having my wallet, phone, and camera in my pockets, and I'm checking one bag.
Ahhh.
I haven't flown in a year. I'm kind of excited to see some new airports, especially with some good friends!
I hope I'm not stuck next to freaks on the planes...
AHHHHHHH WHATEVER.
It'll be great. It always is.
SO PUMPED.
On another note, I had a surprisingly great birthday.
I'm happy.
My friends are lovely and amazing. I love them all!
I was expecting a bad day since I was less than thrilled about turning 18, but it was great. It was laidback and wonderful.
For the first time in a while I felt kind of...I don't know...appreciated. =)
I still don't understand why people like me, but they do and it makes me happy. I'm not going to question it. :)
Ahhh I'm so ready for this.
A week away from reality.
YES! =)
SEE YOU IN A WEEK!!!!!!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
California knows how to party
In a couple of days I will be in California for NATIONALS!
Ahhh, I'm so excited to have a week long break from reality/life...and Fargo...and my house. There aren't really any problems, but it's always so tense and stressful at my house these days. It'll be nice to get away.
I can't wait.
It'll be really good. I just know it.
I'm going to get started on my packing early so I'm not running around at the last minute trying to get things ready....like I always do.
My parents have paid for a lot of it and that makes me feel bad.
I'll be 18 in a day.
I'm not thrilled about that.
There's just something about 'eighteen' that feels so damn old.
Jumping from 17 to 18 seems so huge even though it's obviously only a year.
I'd rather stay 17 even though I hate the number 7.
Oh well.
There's no sense in complaining about things which one has no control over.
Josh gave me Prototype for the 360 today! I really appreciated that! It looks like such a sweet game. I'll have to try to play it before I leave, but if I don't, it'll be one of the first things I do when I get home! =D
There's only about a month left of summer. It has gone by so quickly. I do not like that.
I renewed my permit the other day, ahahahaha.
Honestly though. I don't care. I don't have much of a use for a license. I live close to campus and I don't have the desire to go a lot of places by myself. If I do, I'll walk or take the bus. Basically everything else I do is with friends, and I'm sure they'd rather drive than have me drive anyway because I'm a horrible, self-conscious driver. I'm truly terrible. It's embarrassing. I never thought that I'd ever be this awful.
These days it's just funny that I still only have my permit. I'm almost 18 and I still have my permit and I'm totally cool with that. I'm perfectly comfortable with using other modes of transportation. I don't ask or expect other people to drive me around, so it's not like my lack of a license really hinders anyone anyway.
Driving stresses me out more than I can even express. It scares me to death and I hate it. It's not hard and I know how to do it, but it just genuinely freaks me out. I despise it.
I'm sure I'll eventually get my license, but I'm in no rush right now.
I have been in the strangest mood for the past week or more.
I just feel odd all of the time. It's not necessarily in a bad or a good way. It's just...weird. I don't get it.
I've been flying off the handle a bit lately too. I have such a bad temper. You'd never realize it because I'm really calm and seemingly tolerant when I'm around people, but man, I have the worst temper. Every little thing pisses me off until I just explode when I get home. I hold it all in until I get back to the privacy of my own home.
I think that there are a lot of things that I do or think or feel when I'm alone to my thoughts that would surprise people who know me or see me. I mean, I've shared some things with some of my friends, but I think that it's probably still difficult to imagine me doing such things.
I think that I come off as a fairly level-headed, laidback, logical, rational sort of person. Maybe I'm really off on that, but I think that's how I carry myself out in public. Subdued, quiet, and logical. However, I do some of the dumbest, most illogical, and often impulsive things behind closed doors. It's a little ridiculous.
Today I was told that something that I do is disturbing. I'd never thought of it in that way, but maybe it is. Hmm.
I can never talk about things in person. I am so timid and soft-spoken that I can never speak up and talk about things, even when I'm asked...which I was today. I just find it really uncomfortable and I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable and I don't want to put a damper on the mood, so I keep my mouth shut.
Maybe I should say more.
I don't know.
It's just comfortable for me to avoid questions and to change subjects.
I'm not proud of who I am or what I do. In fact I'm rather ashamed of myself most of the time. I don't like acknowledging that.
I haven't been quite as depressed lately, which is good... I've just been feeling very odd, as I said before. It's weird in that I can't tell if it's good or bad.
I've felt really hopeless though.
Oh well.
It'll be nice to get all of this shit off of my mind for a week.
NATIONALS!
=)
Ahhh, I'm so excited to have a week long break from reality/life...and Fargo...and my house. There aren't really any problems, but it's always so tense and stressful at my house these days. It'll be nice to get away.
I can't wait.
It'll be really good. I just know it.
I'm going to get started on my packing early so I'm not running around at the last minute trying to get things ready....like I always do.
My parents have paid for a lot of it and that makes me feel bad.
I'll be 18 in a day.
I'm not thrilled about that.
There's just something about 'eighteen' that feels so damn old.
Jumping from 17 to 18 seems so huge even though it's obviously only a year.
I'd rather stay 17 even though I hate the number 7.
Oh well.
There's no sense in complaining about things which one has no control over.
Josh gave me Prototype for the 360 today! I really appreciated that! It looks like such a sweet game. I'll have to try to play it before I leave, but if I don't, it'll be one of the first things I do when I get home! =D
There's only about a month left of summer. It has gone by so quickly. I do not like that.
I renewed my permit the other day, ahahahaha.
Honestly though. I don't care. I don't have much of a use for a license. I live close to campus and I don't have the desire to go a lot of places by myself. If I do, I'll walk or take the bus. Basically everything else I do is with friends, and I'm sure they'd rather drive than have me drive anyway because I'm a horrible, self-conscious driver. I'm truly terrible. It's embarrassing. I never thought that I'd ever be this awful.
These days it's just funny that I still only have my permit. I'm almost 18 and I still have my permit and I'm totally cool with that. I'm perfectly comfortable with using other modes of transportation. I don't ask or expect other people to drive me around, so it's not like my lack of a license really hinders anyone anyway.
Driving stresses me out more than I can even express. It scares me to death and I hate it. It's not hard and I know how to do it, but it just genuinely freaks me out. I despise it.
I'm sure I'll eventually get my license, but I'm in no rush right now.
I have been in the strangest mood for the past week or more.
I just feel odd all of the time. It's not necessarily in a bad or a good way. It's just...weird. I don't get it.
I've been flying off the handle a bit lately too. I have such a bad temper. You'd never realize it because I'm really calm and seemingly tolerant when I'm around people, but man, I have the worst temper. Every little thing pisses me off until I just explode when I get home. I hold it all in until I get back to the privacy of my own home.
I think that there are a lot of things that I do or think or feel when I'm alone to my thoughts that would surprise people who know me or see me. I mean, I've shared some things with some of my friends, but I think that it's probably still difficult to imagine me doing such things.
I think that I come off as a fairly level-headed, laidback, logical, rational sort of person. Maybe I'm really off on that, but I think that's how I carry myself out in public. Subdued, quiet, and logical. However, I do some of the dumbest, most illogical, and often impulsive things behind closed doors. It's a little ridiculous.
Today I was told that something that I do is disturbing. I'd never thought of it in that way, but maybe it is. Hmm.
I can never talk about things in person. I am so timid and soft-spoken that I can never speak up and talk about things, even when I'm asked...which I was today. I just find it really uncomfortable and I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable and I don't want to put a damper on the mood, so I keep my mouth shut.
Maybe I should say more.
I don't know.
It's just comfortable for me to avoid questions and to change subjects.
I'm not proud of who I am or what I do. In fact I'm rather ashamed of myself most of the time. I don't like acknowledging that.
I haven't been quite as depressed lately, which is good... I've just been feeling very odd, as I said before. It's weird in that I can't tell if it's good or bad.
I've felt really hopeless though.
Oh well.
It'll be nice to get all of this shit off of my mind for a week.
NATIONALS!
=)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
HARRY POTTER 6 =O
I saw HP6 at midnight!!
Even though I was pissed about them changing the release date from November '08 to July '09, it was definitely worth the wait!!! AHHH.
Standing in line for an hour wasn't overly thrilling, and we were surrounded by really weird people, but I guess that was to be expected.
Bitches didn't start the movie 'til like 12:20 or so because of long lines at the concession stands, I guess. But oh well, it wasn't a big deal...especially since they didn't show too many shitty commercials and the previews were relatively short for the most part.
Overall it was a really awesome movie...very well-written and well-acted (Malfoy was great!!!!). It was visually pleasing too. It just looked cool. Also, it had a fantastic balance of hilarious, sad, dramatic, moving, and intense moments. I laughed a lot and also cried. XD
Sure, they left some things out and changed others, but whatever. I never get upset over that because I treat the books and movies differently.
Rupert Grint was really sexy and cool, and I was glad that they returned to having a good Ron character again. The Ron character in the 5th movie was horribly written, if you ask me.
It might be my new favorite HP movie, but I'm still partial to the third one...so probably not.
I loved it!!!!!!!
=D
Even though I was pissed about them changing the release date from November '08 to July '09, it was definitely worth the wait!!! AHHH.
Standing in line for an hour wasn't overly thrilling, and we were surrounded by really weird people, but I guess that was to be expected.
Bitches didn't start the movie 'til like 12:20 or so because of long lines at the concession stands, I guess. But oh well, it wasn't a big deal...especially since they didn't show too many shitty commercials and the previews were relatively short for the most part.
Overall it was a really awesome movie...very well-written and well-acted (Malfoy was great!!!!). It was visually pleasing too. It just looked cool. Also, it had a fantastic balance of hilarious, sad, dramatic, moving, and intense moments. I laughed a lot and also cried. XD
Sure, they left some things out and changed others, but whatever. I never get upset over that because I treat the books and movies differently.
Rupert Grint was really sexy and cool, and I was glad that they returned to having a good Ron character again. The Ron character in the 5th movie was horribly written, if you ask me.
It might be my new favorite HP movie, but I'm still partial to the third one...so probably not.
I loved it!!!!!!!
=D
Thursday, July 9, 2009
OVERWHELMED.
Ahhhhhhh, so I had orientation.
It was okay. It went better than I'd expected. At least I had Alec and Dezi with me for a lot of it.
There were some boring parts, but it was good.
I started to feel really overwhelmed and unsure by the end of it, though.
There were certain things that were kind of funny though.
I liked all of the Computer Science guys. They were hilarious.
There was one super tall freak (I'm talking 6'7''...), one who talked to himself all throughout registration, one who had a severely sunburned neck, etc.
So entertaining.
I will enjoy them.
I also enjoyed being informed that so far I'm the only female (who's gone through orientation yet) going into Computer Science....not.
It doesn't really matter, but it'll be WEIRD.
I just want to go about my business and learn some computer shit. xD I don't want people to think that I'm trying to make some big feminist statement.
I'm just there because I love computers....srsly. That's it.
I like how I'm in the College of Science & Mathematics and I'm absolutely math-retarded. Like, it's appalling how horrible I am. I really am terrible.
MATH. It WILL be my downfall, no doubt.
I have to take too much nasty MATH and related subjects for my major, like Calc I, Calc II, Discrete Mathematics, Probability, and Statistics. WTF. W.T.F.
Why did I think that Computer Science was such an excellent idea?
I'm an idiot and a slacker.
I don't see this turning out well, but I guess school hasn't even started yet, so...
I should probably just calm down.
I'm pretty okay with my schedule so far.. I guess it's tentative, but I'm pretty sure that this is how it'll be..
Mondays: English 120 (8:00-8:50 AM), Pre-Calc (10:00-10:50 AM), and Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM).
Tuesdays: Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM), Pre-Calc (3:00-3:50 PM), and Intro to Psych (6:00-8:30 PM).
Wednesdays: English 120 (8:00-8:50 AM), Pre-Calc (10:00-10:50 AM), Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM), and that University Studies required class (2:00-2:50 PM).
Thursdays: Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM) and Pre-Calc (3:00-3:50 PM).
Fridays: English 120 (8:00-8:50 AM), Pre-Calc (10:00-10:50 AM), Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM), and University Studies class (2:00-2:50 PM).
I think it'll be okay...
My classes are located mostly in the same sort of area, and I know what/where most of the buildings are already, so that really helps.
I don't have any classes right after another, which could be nice. I don't know.
I think it'll be fine...if I don't DIE in math or computer science...
Overall I'm neither dreading college nor looking forward to it.
I'm excited for all of the computer nerds, though, I have to admit... I only got a small taste of them at orientation. There were only like...6 or 7 other ones.
I'm especially excited for the University Studies class because I'm taking it with all Computer Science majors, so that should be a HOOT...a righteous HOOT!
I'm okay with staying in town now...for the most part.
Part of me still wants to be a Drexel Dragon, but whatever.
It'll be fine.
I'm still really stressed though...but I'll try to enjoy the rest of the summer, especially Harry Potter 6 and Nationals! They're coming up! x]
Today was a pretty bad day overall, though.
Sure, it was nice to see Alec for the first time in a while, and I mostly had a good time with Laura and Josh, but ughhhhhhh......I got so overwhelmed by the end of orientation, and then I returned home to some great news from my parents. I guess my dad has cancer. All in all...awesome day for sure.
I think I was acting pretty strangely tonight.
I'm like...ridiculously depressed, but it's different. It's really weird. I can't explain it. I don't actively feel like, "oh life sucks, I feel horrible, fuck this," but I'm just in a general majorly down mood. I doubt that really makes any sense, though...
Well.
That's about it.
It was okay. It went better than I'd expected. At least I had Alec and Dezi with me for a lot of it.
There were some boring parts, but it was good.
I started to feel really overwhelmed and unsure by the end of it, though.
There were certain things that were kind of funny though.
I liked all of the Computer Science guys. They were hilarious.
There was one super tall freak (I'm talking 6'7''...), one who talked to himself all throughout registration, one who had a severely sunburned neck, etc.
So entertaining.
I will enjoy them.
I also enjoyed being informed that so far I'm the only female (who's gone through orientation yet) going into Computer Science....not.
It doesn't really matter, but it'll be WEIRD.
I just want to go about my business and learn some computer shit. xD I don't want people to think that I'm trying to make some big feminist statement.
I'm just there because I love computers....srsly. That's it.
I like how I'm in the College of Science & Mathematics and I'm absolutely math-retarded. Like, it's appalling how horrible I am. I really am terrible.
MATH. It WILL be my downfall, no doubt.
I have to take too much nasty MATH and related subjects for my major, like Calc I, Calc II, Discrete Mathematics, Probability, and Statistics. WTF. W.T.F.
Why did I think that Computer Science was such an excellent idea?
I'm an idiot and a slacker.
I don't see this turning out well, but I guess school hasn't even started yet, so...
I should probably just calm down.
I'm pretty okay with my schedule so far.. I guess it's tentative, but I'm pretty sure that this is how it'll be..
Mondays: English 120 (8:00-8:50 AM), Pre-Calc (10:00-10:50 AM), and Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM).
Tuesdays: Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM), Pre-Calc (3:00-3:50 PM), and Intro to Psych (6:00-8:30 PM).
Wednesdays: English 120 (8:00-8:50 AM), Pre-Calc (10:00-10:50 AM), Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM), and that University Studies required class (2:00-2:50 PM).
Thursdays: Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM) and Pre-Calc (3:00-3:50 PM).
Fridays: English 120 (8:00-8:50 AM), Pre-Calc (10:00-10:50 AM), Computer Science I (12:00-12:50 PM), and University Studies class (2:00-2:50 PM).
I think it'll be okay...
My classes are located mostly in the same sort of area, and I know what/where most of the buildings are already, so that really helps.
I don't have any classes right after another, which could be nice. I don't know.
I think it'll be fine...if I don't DIE in math or computer science...
Overall I'm neither dreading college nor looking forward to it.
I'm excited for all of the computer nerds, though, I have to admit... I only got a small taste of them at orientation. There were only like...6 or 7 other ones.
I'm especially excited for the University Studies class because I'm taking it with all Computer Science majors, so that should be a HOOT...a righteous HOOT!
I'm okay with staying in town now...for the most part.
Part of me still wants to be a Drexel Dragon, but whatever.
It'll be fine.
I'm still really stressed though...but I'll try to enjoy the rest of the summer, especially Harry Potter 6 and Nationals! They're coming up! x]
Today was a pretty bad day overall, though.
Sure, it was nice to see Alec for the first time in a while, and I mostly had a good time with Laura and Josh, but ughhhhhhh......I got so overwhelmed by the end of orientation, and then I returned home to some great news from my parents. I guess my dad has cancer. All in all...awesome day for sure.
I think I was acting pretty strangely tonight.
I'm like...ridiculously depressed, but it's different. It's really weird. I can't explain it. I don't actively feel like, "oh life sucks, I feel horrible, fuck this," but I'm just in a general majorly down mood. I doubt that really makes any sense, though...
Well.
That's about it.
Friday, July 3, 2009
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