Decent Week (So Far)

Well, this week has been okay so far.
I've really enjoyed the junior testing. =P

Orchestra kind of sucked this morning.
I'm nervous about the concert.
I feel like I'm getting worse or something.. XD I don't know. I'll have to practice tonight.

December is going to be a good month... Minnehaha, band trip, Christmas... =) I can't wait.

I'm pumped for this weekend.
I don't even know what I'm doing for Halloween. =/ If anything, I guess I could do JCL trick-or-treating, but... I don't know.
Saturday should be pretty nice, though. ;)

I'm going to carve some pumpkins tonight.
=D
I'm excited.

I'm really tired..
I don't know why.

First quarter is almost over.
Wow.
I'm basically 1/4 done with my last year of high school.
That's so... scary... but also really exciting.

I seriously need to start applying to colleges and whatnot.
Ugh.
It's just so... tedious and overwhelming.

ACT

Today I took the ACT for a second time.

I really hope I did better...
I felt like I did better on the English section and maybe the math section, but I kind of fucked up the reading section this time... I think my science score will be roughly the same. My essay was average. I probably got a lower score on that too.

But who knows?
I felt super good about the SAT, but I got my scores back a few days ago....and, well, they're pretty average. Not bad by any means, but not exactly impressive either. That's how the ACT went for me last time, and I'm sure it'll go that way again. I don't know why I always get such lame scores on standardized tests. Meh. I shouldn't worry too much, though.

I just took the most satisfying nap of my life, by the way. x]
It was so good.

I guess that's all.

Great Night =)

I had a state officer meeting that lasted about 2 1/2 hours tonight. It went really well! We got a lot accomplished, and EVERYONE was there. It was just...really good. It made me excited. We're going to save NDJCL. ;)

After that, Liz Reynolds and I hung out til about 1:30, and it was super fun. We might hang out again tomorrow with Dis Kid, but who knows.. XD

I just had a really, really good night...I'm feeling a bit better now. Today helped a lot. It was nice after such a shitty, stressful, upsetting week. Ahhh. I feel slightly relieved, but I'm still feeling pretty stressed and overwhelmed, but I'm trying not to focus on that. :]

It feels good to be writing a positive entry for once!

FINALLY!!

The long weekend is FINALLY here!

I had a good night.

I'm looking forward to a nice weekend.

I should maybe do a little preparation for my ACT retake on Saturday... meh. :/

I'm exhausted, so I'm going to attempt to get some sleep now.

I don't know why I felt like updating. XD

Mediocre Day

Today was a bit better than yesterday, but it still wasn't great.

The band concert went well.

I'm so glad that the weekend is almost over.

I hope I can go to Alexis's party on Friday, but I don't know if I will be able to since I have the ACT the next day... My parents probably won't let me go.

Today I felt so out of it. I was so tired and I just felt strange. I took a long nap after school today, though, and I think that helped a bit.

This long weekend couldn't have come at a better time, honestly. :) I'm so excited for it!

I feel like I should stop talking as much. I'm already pretty quiet in a lot of situations and environments, but I feel like I talk too much in certain situations. I think I'm going to back off a bit. I hope people don't perceive that as moodiness or anything, though, because it's really not. I just have this weird thing where I just don't feel like talking that much.

My hands are really cold and I'm running out of things to write about, so I'll call it a night. I should go do my homework anyway.

I'm Tired of Having Negative Titles...

...so I won't even really title this one, even though it would've had a negative title if I'd titled it.

Today was really shitty...but I'm not even going to get into it. It's not worth rehashing. I had a really horrible day, but hey, it's a short week. Things will only get better.

Our band concert is tomorrow. I'm kind of excited about that. I think it'll go well.
I'm a bit nervous about the orchestra concert in a couple of weeks, though... We're still really shaky on basically everything, but it'll improve---we still have two weeks.

This long weekend will be really nice, I think.
I have a JCL meeting on Thursday night, but I do have the ACT retake on Saturday... Other than that, I'm kind of free. I have a lot of tentative plans with various people, though, so who knows what'll happen with those.

Last night I stayed up really late.
I hope I can get to bed early enough tonight.
I was so damn exhausted earlier, but I just couldn't take a nap...and now I don't feel sleepy anymore. I just feel physically drained.

Is it weird that I'm suddenly like...super interested in Columbine?
I mean, I always knew some stuff about it, but for the past couple of nights I've been reading up on it and watching all these interesting documentaries on YouTube.
It's just so interesting! I don't know!!

Well, I Feel a LITTLE Better

Today I talked to some people and resolved a couple of things. Nothing big, really... just a lot of ongoing miscommunication and misunderstandings. Hopefully things will improve in that aspect of my life. It's looking good. :)

I had a very quiet weekend. Really, that's exactly what I needed, so I'm glad I was able to just take some time to chill and be alone. I did a lot of self-reflection this weekend.

Maybe this sounds like it contradicts itself, but I think that I am a good person... but I don't like myself. I think that I'm friendly, that I'm a good listener and an overall good friend, that I'm somewhat humorous at times, that I'm fairly intelligent, and that I always have good intentions. That sounds like a pretty good person to me. However, I could go on to list a plethora of flaws and problems that I have with myself, but I won't bore you with those since that's not really the point and I don't want this post to reek of self-pity. :P

Basically, I think what I mean is that I know I'm a good person to other people and as a general rule, but when I look inside myself, I don't like what I see.

I hope that one day I'll be able to say that I like myself...and truly mean it. Hell, I hope that one day I can even simply become comfortable with myself. Even that would be progress.

I'm not asking for you to leave me happy comments full of compliments. I'm not fishing for compliments or anything like that. I don't want that. Really, I'm just sharing some of my reflections. People always tell me that they'd wish that I'd open up and share more, so I thought I'd open up a bit here.

Oh well.
I don't really have anything else to say.

Well, I'm in a Bad Mood

Suddenly last night I just was overcome with a horrible mood.

I'm just disappointed with this year so far.
It's turning out to be slightly reminiscent of last year, which, as you should know by now, was a really horrible year for me.

I hardly see any of my 'main' group of friends anymore...partly because I don't have classes with a lot of them...but I've also noticed that they hang out a lot on the weekends and I just wonder like...is there a reason why you didn't call me?

Sure, I suppose I could start calling around to see what everyone's up to, but I find that just weird. What if they really don't want to hang out with me and I'm just making it awkward by calling them to ask them what they're up to? What if they're in the middle of something? I also would feel like I was inviting myself if I started to call people and ask what they're up to, and no one likes that. I mean, it's just weird for me since I'm never the one to make any plans, so I don't know... It's just weird for me to call around.

I've also heard of a lot of shit-talking behind my back, coming from mostly one person in particular, and I really don't appreciate that. If you have a problem with me, I'd prefer it if you'd take it up with me...not everyone ELSE around me.

All of this makes me have some serious doubts about myself.
I don't like myself very much to begin with, but when people who are supposed to be my friends talk shit about me and don't seem to want to hang out with me, it makes me doubt myself even more.
I've always thought that I have a decent personality. I think that I'm really nice, occasionally funny, and fairly intelligent. Sure, I definitely have some flaws too, but overall I think I'm a pretty easy person to get along with, but all of this makes me doubt that and think that I'm annoying, stupid, irritating, etc.

I'm just in a really bad mood...and believe me, this whole friend thing is only a tiny fraction of what's bothering me. I just don't want to talk about any of the other things that are bothering me.

I was really hoping that this year would be super amazing and the best of all time since it's our senior year, but so far it's proven to be rather mediocre. I'd certainly like to change that.

No One's Been Blogging Lately!

...Including myself.

Let's see... This week was okay. It was really busy and long, though. I was exhausted all week. On Friday night, I just went home after hanging around in practice rooms for a couple of hours to watch the season premiere of Degrassi. That's really all I did on Friday. I even went to bed early. I was just so tired.

Yesterday was a pretty good day.

Alec picked me up at like 10:45 in the morning and we went to Dezi's and just...chilled all day, really. It was really nice and relaxing. Very chill.

Alec left at about 6:30 PM or so and a bunch of people came over and we played Pictionary (INTENSE) and watched silly game shows.

All in all, I had an amazing Saturday.
Everything about it was either incredibly chill or incredibly fun. I loved it. Great day. =]

Today I'm going to have to work on my portion of the brain project for psych... I also have some reading to do in 1984. Also, I think I'm going to study some Latin. I feel a little behind...or at least a little rusty.

Sundays are always lazy homework days, but that's okay. I don't really mind.

Things have been good lately.
Overall I've been pretty happy...despite the stress. :P

SAT Saturday

Well, I took the SAT for the first time today.

I was really stressing about it, especially last night, but you know...I think it went pretty well, actually.

To be honest, I thought that it was easier than the ACT.

First of all, there weren't any ridiculous science sections on the SAT, so that was nice.

Secondly, I liked the shorter sections that the SAT has. The ACT just throws a big ol' section at you and it's just...I don't know...a little overwhelming and long, but the SAT is broken up into ten shorter sections (most are 25 minutes long). It starts off with the essay, and then you get alternating Math and English sections. I just really preferred that set-up.

I think that I did pretty well, but I don't want to be too cocky or anything. I'd really regret being so arrogant if I got a pathetic score. I'm pretty sure I did above average, though...at least on the Writing and Reading sections. The average scores are about 500 per section, and I'm sure I did better than that on the Writing and Reading sections. Math wasn't bad---I'm just not all that good at math, so I don't want to make any predictions about that. :P

Anyway...basically, the SAT was a pleasant surprise.
A few people had told me that it was way easier than the ACT, but others told me that it was way harder, so I didn't really know what to expect. I came out of it thinking that it was easier, but who knows... I guess I'll see how I did in a few weeks. :)

Overall I had a pretty good week. The beginning of the week was really great... I just felt really happy. The end of the week became a bit tiring, though.

Hmm...what a relief to be done with the SAT!
I'm going to go do something relaxing now. x]